Tonight Lindsay and I had dinner with her family, then headed over to my parents' for dessert with mine. Naturally, with the election being only 2 days away, conversations at both locales turned to politics. Because I tend to disagree with just about everything that's said by family members on both sides, I usually remain silent (I like to avoid being ganged up on and ridiculed to death for having my own opinion). Any liberal with a Utah-Mormon upbringing can identify with the feeling, I'm sure. Here's what I envision happening:
Brother: "Obama is a Marxist."
Sister: "Yeah, I'm voting for McCain because I'm against the redistribution of wealth."
Me: "Do either of you have any idea what you're talking about? Or do you indiscriminately accept every label the far Right places on Obama?"
Everyone: "GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW YOU COMMY!!! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FINISHING THAT BROCCOLI CASSEROLE!!! LEFT-WING BASTARDS LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN DESERVE TO EAT!!! COME BACK WHEN YOU LEARN THAT THE ONLY WAY TO BE A PATRIOTIC AMERICAN IS TO GO TO CHURCH, SALUTE THE FLAG, AND (MOST OF ALL) VOTE REPUBLICAN!!!"
So I hope that explains why I try not to get involved. The risk that my family would spontaneously formulate a collective attack on me is just too high.
Brother: "Obama is a Marxist."
Sister: "Yeah, I'm voting for McCain because I'm against the redistribution of wealth."
Me: "Do either of you have any idea what you're talking about? Or do you indiscriminately accept every label the far Right places on Obama?"
Everyone: "GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW YOU COMMY!!! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FINISHING THAT BROCCOLI CASSEROLE!!! LEFT-WING BASTARDS LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN DESERVE TO EAT!!! COME BACK WHEN YOU LEARN THAT THE ONLY WAY TO BE A PATRIOTIC AMERICAN IS TO GO TO CHURCH, SALUTE THE FLAG, AND (MOST OF ALL) VOTE REPUBLICAN!!!"
So I hope that explains why I try not to get involved. The risk that my family would spontaneously formulate a collective attack on me is just too high.
4 comments:
Hmmm, that sounds like a very interesting family dinner. I wonder who you envision saying the line "LEFT-WING BASTARDS LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN DESERVE TO EAT!!!" I just hope it's not me.....
I think my line would be "You're gonna have to finish my broccoli casserole before you leave!!! And after you're done, grill me a steak!! What kind of family dinner is this? Broccoli casserole? Come on!!"
Jake, you need to face the facts as told to us all by an 8-year-old political genius. Washington's broken, and John McCain knows it!!
I don't know where my comment went... oh well. I said you're brave JAKE. WHOA... I ACCIDENTLY HIT THE CAPS LOCK.
Whatever Jake. Swear words are not polite talk at the dinner table, and every good Republican knows it.
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